My life
Posted 04-17-2008 at 03:24 PM by Englishchocolate
I don't post here much, but just wanted to write a quick note on where I am in my life right now.
I'm not in the best place. I feel quite bad writing this, because I'm sure there are others in worse situations, but sometimes when you're in that space, all you want to do is curl up in a ball rather than be thankful for what you have.
As you may or may not know I was in a plane crash in January, I wasn't seriously injured, but had incurred really bad whiplash. Now last year I was in turbulance and fell and smashed up my knee. A couple years before that I had a near fatal car crash in China couple with a minor car crash on the way back to my hotel from the hospital, and a couple years before that I was in a car that rolled twice and had to cut out of the wreck by firemen.
According to one of doctors it seems that my body has decided to go into a state of trauma as whenever it has tried to heal, it's got damaged again.
For the past few months, I've been hardly able to walk, sleep, stand or even sit without being in pain.
I've had physiotherapy and hydrotherapy every week straight now for about 3 months.
I'm on some pretty strong painkillers and am still not recovering.
I've been trying to be the 'strong' one, but I'm tired, I just want a 5 minute break from the pain is that too much to ask?
So I've been crying. I cried for about two weeks straight and not only has it been cleansing for me, it as also cleansed me of the people who I really don't need around me.
The ones that only want to be there for the good times, and when I'm the happy smiley jokey EC. My real friends and have sat there and cried along with me. The ones that can't/won't, have been there with the tissues and the plans for when I'm well.
I'm starting a new type of treatment tomorrow and I'm too scared to be hopeful.
I desperately want to be well again. My first flat, that I adore is starting to feel like a prison. I don't want to have that feeling of my place.
I'm not in the best place. I feel quite bad writing this, because I'm sure there are others in worse situations, but sometimes when you're in that space, all you want to do is curl up in a ball rather than be thankful for what you have.
As you may or may not know I was in a plane crash in January, I wasn't seriously injured, but had incurred really bad whiplash. Now last year I was in turbulance and fell and smashed up my knee. A couple years before that I had a near fatal car crash in China couple with a minor car crash on the way back to my hotel from the hospital, and a couple years before that I was in a car that rolled twice and had to cut out of the wreck by firemen.
According to one of doctors it seems that my body has decided to go into a state of trauma as whenever it has tried to heal, it's got damaged again.
For the past few months, I've been hardly able to walk, sleep, stand or even sit without being in pain.
I've had physiotherapy and hydrotherapy every week straight now for about 3 months.
I'm on some pretty strong painkillers and am still not recovering.
I've been trying to be the 'strong' one, but I'm tired, I just want a 5 minute break from the pain is that too much to ask?
So I've been crying. I cried for about two weeks straight and not only has it been cleansing for me, it as also cleansed me of the people who I really don't need around me.
The ones that only want to be there for the good times, and when I'm the happy smiley jokey EC. My real friends and have sat there and cried along with me. The ones that can't/won't, have been there with the tissues and the plans for when I'm well.
I'm starting a new type of treatment tomorrow and I'm too scared to be hopeful.
I desperately want to be well again. My first flat, that I adore is starting to feel like a prison. I don't want to have that feeling of my place.
Total Comments 5
Comments
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This is definitely not something you like to hear about someone you care for. I don’t know what it’s like to be in so much pain that all there is to do for any sort of release, is to cry. I’m glad the tears help in their way. And I’m glad that you took the time to let us in on your situation. The only thing I can do is send you my intentions for recovery. And you will have them daily.
Thanks for sparing me the abduction charges baby girl.. you are far too sweet.  |
 
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You already know what I've said now... I hope things will get better for you... I'll be praying for you, luv. *hugs*
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btw... you know I love you, right? You're a dear and it's all love here.
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Thank you kindly Gentlemen.
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the pain i can def. understand... its true that after you breakdown you find those that are really there for you... those that were simply leeching off of you... and those who just want to have fun... then there are others still that may really be your friend... but the sight of you cryin is a bit too much to bear... in which case, just give them time... and they will come back to you and tell you how they really feel...
so often i am told "weeping may endurith for a night...etc" but what if the weeping doesnt stop... what if its a continuous thing?... how long must one endure before things "look up"... i know its not much to say that things will get better... and its perfectly natural to fear what the next type of treatment does for you... but hopefully it will be fine... it will help.. and you are going to feel better... |
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Recent Blog Entries by Englishchocolate
- Simple Abundance (04-21-2008)
- My life (04-17-2008)
