losing what's left of my mind...

well... let's see... in this past month alone i have seen a loved one... watched him leave...
been yelled at...
blamed for...
accused...
spazzed on... my list goes on really...



i feel like im at the end of my rope... too much is happenin too fast all at once...

my uncle wants me out... he says im not doin anything (i guess workin doubles til i just about pass out is nuthin... i suppose payin off allll that debt acquired, also, is nuthin)

bill collectors are takin my money from me before i even see it... (fun times... really)

i just recently had a series of panick attacks...

cut off my hair...

yeaaaa..... kinda losin my mind over here...

i always thought that i was this good person... yet all these bad things just keep cpming at me... it makes me wonder... what did i do? was i cruel to someone? do something i wasnt supposed to? i cant help but think this has something to do with karma or that whole "sins of the Father" business... i have always strived to do the right thing... so why does the bad just keep happenin to me? what did i do to deserve this?

im backed into a corner of the world with no help and no understanding...

and honestly i just feel like giving up.... cause things def dont seem to be lookin up...